Emotions? Oh my goodness what are those? I only knew laughter and frustration for a long time. It took a lot to get me angry, and crying was not an option. Until I realized it was okay. It was okay to cry.
I always thought that crying was a sign of weakness. I don’t know if I’m supposed to blame that thought process on my upbringing or community, well I’m not blaming anyone. The more you know, the more you grow. Crying would eventually become my release.
I cried, (UGLY CRY) when I dropped my dad off at the airport after spending time with me in North Carolina after my accident. I mean he took great care of me. That was my first time seeing my dad overcome with sadness since my granny passed. I can honestly count on one hand how many times I’ve seen my dad emotional.
I weeped when I got to my father’s side 48 hours before he died. It had hit me. There was no turning back. This was my final goodbye.
Have you ever experienced multiple emotions at one time? If you’ve seen Steel Magnolias, I’m referring to the scene when Shelby’s mom (Sally Field) was at the cemetery and she went through a series of emotions at one time. Well, I know that feeling.
I went from anger, sadness, numb to peace. I remember being in the room with my dad when he passed. A sense of peace came over me. He was tired. He had done a damn good job raising his children, and providing for my mom. It was a job well done. You know the job well done that we all wish to hear at the very end of this earthly life.
This month I would have to say that my emotions are set at overjoyed. This challenge has given me great joy and to witness some of you reflect on your moments of being #SteeleThankful has been amazing. When you think no one is watching. Oh trust and believe that someone is. The moment when you think no one is paying attention but you run into a family friend at a local restaurant and she says, “I’ve been watching your progress, I’m so proud of you, keep going.”
I’ve definitely unlocked another level of my emotions lately, transparency. I’m thankful for owning my true emotions on this rollercoaster ride of life. I’m able to own them, and allow myself to be me. Live, Love, and Laugh. Laugh a lot!
What are you #SteeleThankful for?