“You don’t know who you are until God sets you free.”
When Pastor Austin said this in church yesterday I was stuck to my seat. It’s so very true. Have you ever been lost in a situation that you don’t know who you are anymore?
That was my story a year ago.
When I was in church yesterday I was convicted. I’m absolutely grateful that I’m not in the same place I was in a year ago, but I haven’t completely forgiven the people that treated me terribly from Summer 2014 – 2015.
I’ve never hated anything or anyone so much and I know that the key to all of my dreams will only be revealed once I forgive them.
How can I be grateful that I’m no longer in that situation but I choose not to forgive them. How does that work?
How they treated me was not for me to understand. It was for me to grow deeper in my faith. Jesus is the only reason why I kept my cool. I’m serious. Not laughing or giggling. I’m being real here. The situation was unbearable at times. I constantly asked myself, “What Would Jesus Do?”
When I received my walking papers last year it was a month earlier than MY PLANNED departure date.
I was so miserable, and my mental state was at risk. My plan was to exit stage left and just consider the situation a BUST. I was completely OVER IT. God had a better plan (Always better than our own right) and allowed me to exit with style and grace. They were stunned, and I was rejoicing on the inside with a smile on the outside. I felt like breakdancing! The peace that I received on that day was so calm. That storm was officially over.
Even though I left that place and never went back. I didn’t forgive. That’s on me. I’ve talked about bitterness and not forgiving can block you from your blessings. So, I had to take a long, hard look in the mirror. The negative energy was still present, and I needed to let go.
I decided to purge those feelings, and leave them on this post:
I forgive those that tried to rob me of my joy and smile.
I forgive those that tried to hinder my growth.
I forgive myself for allowing others to mistreat me.
I know that God has set me free, and everyday I’m trying my hardest to glorify God’s Kingdom. I know sometimes it’s hard to forgive but if Jesus can forgive, so can I. One day at a time.
Today, I am able to focus on my many projects, and I honestly couldn’t be happier.
I know who I am, and I’ve never felt so free in my life.