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Grief: It’s a hard topic, but let’s talk about it!

Grief: It’s a hard topic, but let’s talk about it!

I’m preparing for a busy week working on the Final 48 project documentary with my fellow classmates from the Doc Studies program at Duke University.  I plan to keep you updated on all social media sites.  So, be sure to follow/like @Steelelens on Periscope, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Every Tuesday on Periscope, I host “Let’s Talk About Grief!” #GriefTalkTuesday 

One of the most popular questions I receive is, “why did you decide to talk about grief; how did it start?”

Well, similar to many of you that will read this I resisted the idea of talking about my journey with grief. I thought this is my road and I must venture alone. No one wants to hear me complain, or listen to my sob story about how I wish things were different. That feeling of what could I have done to save my dad. 

I had to come to the realization there was nothing I could do. The forty-eight hours before he passed was a rollercoaster of emotions. The person that I admired my entire life as a pillar of strength was physically weak, and there was nothing I could do besides love on him. Then it hit me. Maybe that’s all I was supposed to do. Love him into his transition. 

I grieved internally. The grief that I experienced began to spill to my external appearance. My hair fell out, and I gained a lot of weight. The heaviest I had ever been. I was depressed and finally determined the only way I was going to bounce back was to keep the promises that I made to my dad a couple of hours before he passed away. 

My strength encouraged others. The times that I felt the weakest I had people around me that were inspired. I felt broken but I “appeared” to be so strong to my peers. Who knew that my story would encourage or inspire others. 

If my story had an impact on others just think what would happen if I had others that wanted to share their journeys with grief. I became mind blown at the possible outcome. 

I began with my IPad, a few questions, and went to work! As of today I have over 25 hours of footage for the project, and I still feel like it’s only the beginning.  My purpose is to not only provide a comfortable platform to talk about grief, but to inspire and encourage others that the journey is far from over. Keep going!

  

Tomorrow may be too LATE!

Tomorrow may be too LATE!

Hump Day! Today is the day I recap “Let’s Talk About Grief.”  A weekly show that I do on Periscope for #GriefTalkTuesday and it almost didn’t happen.

Yesterday, was a regular day.  I was scrolling through Instagram early in the morning and I came across a photo that seemed quite odd.  I was about to reach out to my friend in Houston and ask if everything was okay, and then I logged into Facebook.  The first status I read ended with the words, #RIPZin.  The same friend that I was about to text, was gone.  He passed away in a fatal car accident in Colorado over the weekend. The first thing I thought was, I JUST TALKED TO HIM A WEEK AGO!   How could this be?  I was heartbroken.   This was the first time in my life that I experienced losing a friend.

When I moved to Houston a couple of years ago I didn’t know many people. One of the people I connected with was Brotha Zin. The first night I met him he was dj’ing an after party.  It was my last night working for a local jazz festival, and I wanted to hear my song.  I wanted to hear D’Angelo or Guy.  Don’t give me that look.  Yes, I go to parties and request 90s R&B.  Don’t be judging. Lol. Zin was sitting on an ottoman cranking out the good vibes, and while requesting my music I lost my balance.  The ottoman he was had WHEELS! He attempted to catch me, but I fell on him and we went rolling on that ottoman towards the window.  We crashed…HARD! I had the bruises to prove it.  That story never gets old.  Our friendship began there.

I remember the conversations we had in 2012/2013 about him starting a radio station, and I talked about writing a children’s book.  He would say, “Peace Sis, we gotta keep building.” He started All Real Radio, and I published the first book in my children’s book series.  On this day I can say, we did it!

We were supposed to connect while I was in Houston during Labor Day Weekend, and he was supposed to interview me on his show.  Well, he left early to go to New Orleans, and I didn’t return to Houston after that weekend.  As far as the interview.  I put it off, I told him, I need a minute, I’m not ready, maybe next week, or tomorrow.  Why was I waiting?  That tomorrow will never come, and I have to take the lesson that comes from it. I can say one thing, if Zin feared anything I didn’t know it.  Stop waiting.  Stop putting things off until tomorrow.  Just do it!

He was always positive, and ready to spread the good word. An activist, hip-hop head, visionary, and a man that loved his Queen and his two daughters!  That’s how I will remember him.  Our last conversation was about his interview with David Banner. I was so proud of him. Man, he was more than a friend.  He was my brother in the struggle. Just trying to spread love, light,  and knowledge. You will never be forgotten Anthony “Zin” Mills. You are apart of my “Final 48 Project” story.

Peace.

Archives 101: Miles is Maintenance – What my father taught me!

Archives 101: Miles is Maintenance – What my father taught me!

Yesterday I hopped on Periscope for #GriefTalkTuesday and talked about what happened on Christmas Day.

It was great to get on there to talk about my frustrations and laugh with new/old scope buddies! We had fun! You can view the original video on Periscope (@SteeleLens) or view the video (without the hearts and commentary 😔) below.


P.S. One of my fave scopers hopped on the scope to talk about my book. Way Cool!

Let’s Talk About Grief, Episode 1

Let’s Talk About Grief, Episode 1

Hello Transparency,
I’m ready to tackle you. I just completed my first broadcast talking about grief. Looking forward to doing it again next week. Shaking the nervous bugs from my shoulder! Lol. Check it out below.

https://www.periscope.tv/SteeleLens/1YqGoYNrnAyxv?%3Ausername=steelelens&

 

P.S. I’ll try to “katch” it but if not, you have until 6:00 pm Eastern time tomorrow to view it! Enjoy!