“She may be quiet but she’s a warrior and her prayers can move mountains.” – Unknown
I flew into San Diego, California this past weekend to be with three of my closest friends and the newest addition to our family. This trip was well overdue, and after the few weeks I’ve had…I DESERVED IT!
As our flight began to descend Into the San Diego airport I raised the shade on my window (because Erykah Badu told me to get a window seat, Get it?).
My in-flight neighbor leaned over and said “is that snow on the mountains?” Even though it’s possible I wasn’t sure. Simply because I was focused on something else. How God continuously moves mountains.
I thought about my mom, and how much I admire her strength. She constantly reminds me that if you want your situation to be different you are the one to make it happen. That it’s a choice to live the way that you choose to live. She did an awesome job of raising us, and would always say that she wanted more for us than she had for herself.
More than anything she’s taught me that moving mountains are possible. God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or think.
I work with young people all the time reassuring them that what they’re facing is temporary, and great things require hard work.
I’m inspired by the prayer warriors and individuals that constantly remind me that what you’re going through is only temporary. Release your power to God, and let Him move that mountain.
Real Love and Debt Free by 2018.
What mountain do you need to be moved? Write it down on a sheet of paper with the date that you want it gone. Tape it to your mirror, and watch God move.
P.S.S. The Annual #SteeleThankful Challenge is coming. Are you ready. November 1st!
It’s a “Mines” Thing: Loss vs. Gain and Aha Moments
I wrestled with writing the post for today. I guess I didn’t want to lose myself. It’s funny because that’s where I’m heading. Letting go of some things that I once said was “mines” in order to gain something greater.
After the weekend I had getting my #FaveArchivist on I feel it’s a must that I talk about some emotions that I have been experiencing.
You can remember growing up and possibly saying to your siblings, “nuh uh that’s mines!” Meaning that item belongs to me, and you can’t have it.
Now think about the older we get we still have that mentality in a way. It could be a breakup. The argument is over who bought what for the house, and everything is “mines” but it can be deeper than that.
I was in my storage space yesterday, and I wondered if I was too attached to some things that were in it. I realized it wasn’t the things I was attached to. It was the thought of what it meant to get rid of some of the items.
I was overwhelmed with the idea of calling one place my own permanently, and slowly relaxed when I realized what my problem was.
For the last year my prayer has been for stability. In my former life (honestly still apart of my business) I was known as Carmen Sandiego. Even though I enjoy popping up places for travel or work I was longing for one thing. A place to call home.
As I approach the day of calling a place my own I had to reflect on the message from church yesterday. What am I willing to lose in order to gain?
You know you can ask yourself that question too.
I need to relinquish my pride in order to keep moving to the next level. I have personal goals set in place and the only way they will get accomplished is if I give up my pride and time.
I know some things don’t happen overnight even though we wish it did. I’m willing to sacrifice more than I ever had in order to gain the abundance that God has for me.
What are you willing to lose?
You can share in the comments or connect with me on social media (Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter) @Steelelens
I remember hearing that a lot growing up. Now, I’m looking around and realizing, gosh my elders were right.
Last week was quite an emotional week. I talked about “Blue Monday,” got through Monday, went to the gym on Tuesday morning, hopped online as usual and began reading a story about a possible homicide-suicide that occurred in the next town over from my hometown. When I initially read the story the names had not been released. Later on in the afternoon I received a text from a friend, and I politely told him, “Yeah, I read the story, but no names, yet.” I guess he thought R.J. CLICK THE LINK. Well, I didn’t click the link, so he decided to do a screenshot (screen grab, whatever) to show me that the names had been released. It was someone I knew. In fact, I spoke with this person about a month ago, and some of you were able to witness it.
It was Denise.
I sat in silence for 30 minutes after reading her name in that text message. She was tragically killed by her husband, and leaves behind three young children. Even though we never met in person, she had a huge impact on my life. It’s amazing the effect that people can have on you in such a short amount of time. During our interview last month on the air I promised I would include her and Jonny as characters in an upcoming book in the series. I promise not to disappoint.
I did say that it was an emotional week right?
I wanted the passing of Prince to be a hoax. I remember waking up Friday morning thinking it was still a dream. Can we agree that Prince was amazing? He was musical genius, but what really stands out to me is that Prince was an UNAPOLOGETIC BLACK MAN. He didn’t mind telling you what he thought, and never apologized for it. He worked tirelessly behind the scenes for the rights of his people. He was a cheerful giver of his time, knowledge, and resources.
You never know what someone is dealing with, or how much time they have on this earth. Life is the dash. We are gifted this life on this earth, and we must determine how we choose to live it. The outpour of love for both Denise and Prince last week was mind blowing. There was no need to question how much they were loved.
My takeaway from last week was that we all need to start giving people their flowers while they are living. I can only hope that they were shown the love that was displayed last week while they were living in the dash.
I decided to go over my grammy’s house on Saturday morning since I was in town filming for The Final 48 Project. I spent two hours with her, and it was honestly one of the best visits we’ve EVER had. She told me that what I was doing with the “Final 48 Project” is what God birthed in me, and I have to keep pressing forward.
I went over there to check on her, and received a mighty Word. That visit with her is something that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
What are you doing with the dash? It’s Monday. Another opportunity to push towards the purpose that God has birthed in you.
“We are gathered here today. To get through this thing called, life.” ~ Prince
The Blueprint: The importance of HERstory. Stay Lit and March 4th!
I love when this day comes around every year. Say it aloud, “March Forth.” Move forward. How does that statement resonate with you? For me, it motivates me to keep pushing to the next level of my dreams.
We are almost ninety (Yes 90) days into the new year and how are we doing with our goals for 2016? I’ve been reflecting on the goals I have on my vision board, and I’ve made progress. Don’t get me wrong, I still have a lot of work to do.
We went from Black History Month to Women’s History Month. Can we agree that last month was jam packed with greatness?! I know that this month will be no different. I mean Hello, March is the month for movement. It’s instructing us that everything we’ve worked for is requiring us to act on it.
This week I reflected on my interaction with Mrs. Amelia Boynton Robinson. She was the matriarch and activist behind the Civil Rights Movement and marches in Selma, Alabama. When she was on tour last year (at 103 years old) I was given the opportunity to edit a video for her to be placed in her personal archives.
I thought about the strength of Ms. Amelia. She was in her fifties when she was apart of the fight for equality in Alabama. When I listened to her speak in an intimate venue last year she repeated the one thing that continued to keep her going.
Faith without works is dead, right? It all starts with faith. The faith that this thing is gonna happen. If it aligns with God’s will, it’s gotta work!
She was brutally attacked on March 7, 1965 (Bloody Sunday), in Selma during a march for voting rights in Alabama. After the attack I’m sure that would have stopped the average person. Ms. Amelia was far from average. She was determined to keep the faith until things changed.
Have you seen the movie Selma, directed by Ava Duvernay? Ms. Amelia is played by Lorraine Toussaint in the movie. If you haven’t checked it out please do so this weekend. Thank me later. 😉
On this day what will you do different to make a change in your life? I’m holding myself accountable and taking notes from the blueprint that Ms. Amelia has left behind.
From Victim to Victorious: Falling in love with a burn survivor
Out of all the topics that I’ve discussed this is definitely the hardest. Now, there will be some things shared here that are exclusive to my personal archives. Viewer discretion is advised.
Just got paid. It’s Friday night. I decided to go from shoulder length hair to a bob cut. I would say a good 4 inches of my hair was on the floor at the beauty shop. I was FREE! I was ready for a weekend in Charlotte, NC with my girls for the annual CIAA tournament activities. It was our first year, we were single, and ready to paint the town red.
We mingled with people in the lobby of our hotel, laughed all night with strangers, and even marched the streets of downtown Charlotte in 4-inch heels. We had the time of our life.
Back to work and school on Monday. I walked into work feeling like a new woman. I worked late on Tuesday, said my “good nights” to every one, hopped in my car and made my commute from Durham to Raleigh. I didn’t show up for work on Wednesday morning.
I got home Tuesday night exhausted. I had homework and I needed to eat. I decided to cook a quick meal and call it a night. I placed the pot on the stove, had a seat on the couch, and snapped a few selfies.
I dozed off.
I woke up to smoke, and then flames. I panicked. I grabbed the pot of hot grease, and ran to the door. Too late! The damage was done. It was raining outside so of course grease and water doesn’t mix. Next thing I know the pot falls from the second floor balcony and flames engulfed the stair well. I shielded my eyes with my left arm, and ran back inside of my apartment.
I didn’t call 9-1-1. I called my friend Shanita. I was numb. I stood in the bathroom, and ran my fingers through my singed hair. My hair was transferring from my fingertips to the floor. Shanita picked me up and took me to the hospital. In her words, “it smelled as if you cooked the whole way there.”
Shanita would have to make the phone call to my family and friends about my condition. To this day she says that’s one of the hardest things she’s ever had to do.
After hours of not being able to move I finally wobbled to the bathroom after the suggestion of not looking in the mirror. I did it anyway. I needed to see what the road looked like ahead. I thought, “eh, I’ll be okay.”
My features began to transform over night. I took the above photo(s) because I believe in results and of course I’m a visual person. Very visual. I needed those photos during the recovery process to prove to myself that God had this situation under control.
I was in therapy 3-4 days a week for mobility in my right hand and my leg. Changing my own bandages, and sleeping most of the day.
My support system though. My God. My mom and sister were there during my entire hospital stay. My friends were delivering food to my family while I suffered with hospital food. My brother was receiving updates from my father (who arrived the day I was discharged). Everyone had a position, and I’m still blown away by their love and support.
The therapy wasn’t the hardest part. I had to learn to love again. I was a new person. Falling in love is hard, but loving yourself after a traumatic experience is harder.
When you’re faced with insensitive questions you become very defensive. I know I did. “Well, what were you doing trying to deep fry your hand?” Or, “Well you know you could’ve put floor or sugar on it to put the fire out.” Until you’ve experienced the shock of something like that, YOU have no room to judge. Those questions crushed my pride and self-esteem. Yes, I understand I didn’t think clearly in the moment but who would? I was exhausted and delirious. Imagine trying to adjust to having NO HAIR, spots on your face, and a glove that someone asks “what happened?” every five minutes of your “new” life. You can grow even thicker skin to deal with it or you become a recluse. A lot of burn survivors prefer the latter. There were times I wanted to go in hiding, but my personal care giver (Aka my dad) wouldn’t let me do that.
Years later I realized that this whole experience was not about me. When I tell you it strengthened the relationship with my dad and I, I mean my God it did. He brought his clippers with him from Michigan to North Carolina and shaved my hair so it was even. He kept reassuring me that my hair would grow back.
The faith walk wasn’t just for me, it was for my dad too. He was able to witness the transformation of my face. He was BLOWN AWAY. I would hear him in the other room on the phone, “Man, when I got here she looked pretty bad leaving the hospital. She’s looking better and better everyday. Up walking around, and her color is coming back. I mean, man, it’s unbelievable.”
God did that. My faith was shook, but my dad’s was questionable. He witnessed a miracle happening before his very eyes.
Loving myself after becoming a burn survivor was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. If I could go back to March 2, 2010 and change what happened, would I?
That experience blessed me with three things: Strengthened my faith, learned how to love beyond the physical, and a priceless relationship with my father.
So, on the 6th anniversary (or BURNiversary) of a life changing event, I am encouraged to keep going. The hedge of protection is real, and God ain’t finished with me yet.